Onion riffs on Tim Cook and Apple’s sinking stock

Fri, Apr 19, 2013


The Onion is up to its old tricks again, this time with a headline titled, “Weeping Tim Cook spotted screaming for help at Steve Jobs’ Tombstone.”

The blurb reads:

PALO ALTO, CA—Eighteen months after the death of his mentor, Apple CEO Tim Cook was seen Wednesday pounding the tombstone of company founder Steve Jobs and begging for guidance in his leadership of what was once the largest corporation in the history of the world. “What the hell do I do?!” a hysterical Cook reportedly shrieked, clawing alternately at the grave marker and his own face. “You left no instructions, damn it. I need another game-changing breakthrough product that millions can’t live without. Just give me one idea. One idea, for the love of God! Why are you torturing me like this?” At press time, sources confirmed that Cook had composed himself and decided to develop an iPhone 6.

Funny headline, mediocre blurb.



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